O is for Ostracism
April 17, 2014 at 9:46 am | Posted in Family History, Psychology, Society, Ways of Living | 9 CommentsTags: coke burner, courting, early 20th century, engine tenter, James Catlow, Oswaldtwistle, social classes, social norms, weaving mills
It was some time in 1914 when Teddy and Hannah first met as they walked along the grimy back lanes of Oswaldtwistle to the cotton mills where they both worked. Teddy would have been 21 years of age and Hannah 19 or 20.
I imagine them eventually saying hello, as you do when you see each other every day, possibly even twice a day. I suppose they started chatting as they walked, gradually learning more about each other, and coming to look forward to those early mornings and late evenings.
I know that they came to care for each other. Teddy did everything he could to get Hannah to go out with him. He was trying to court her, but she was adamant that it wasn’t possible. There was a reason for Hannah’s reluctance that had nothing to do with her feelings.
Hannah was a weaver in the mill, an occupation higher than most jobs. Weavers often made better money that other mill workers. She was the daughter of James, who also worked at the cotton mills. However, James was an engine tenter, an overseer in charge of the steam engines that operated the machinery in the mill. As such, he was of a higher social class. He was also a Catlow, originally de Catlow (from the Norman Invasion), a family of once-wealthy landowners that could trace its presence in Oswaldtwistle to at least the 12th century.
Teddy was the son of Peter Thompson, a coke burner; burning coal to make charcoal. It was a dirty job and left to the poorer people to perform. Teddy himself was ‘just’ a labourer. They were working class people and as such were looked down upon by most of the better off.
Although Hannah cared for Teddy, she knew she would greatly suffer from her father’s disapproval if she went out with him. Even talking with someone like Teddy would have angered that proud man, let alone admitting that Teddy had asked her to marry him.
Teddy was very upset at Hannah’s rejection, which he could neither understand nor accept. The Great War had broken out at the end of 1914. In early 1915, distressed at the social norms that separated him from Hannah, Teddy volunteered and joined the British Army. He arrived in France in June 1915.
In 1919, aged 25, and with four years of hell in the trenches behind him, Teddy returned from the war a more determined man. Hannah was 24 and still unmarried. Teddy renewed his pursuit of her and she eventually gained the courage to defy her father, who had told her she would be ostracised from the family if she married the man she loved.
They married in July 1920. True to his word, James Catlow never spoke to her again. He also forbade his other children from having any contact with their sister. It wasn’t until after James’s death four years later that any contact was resumed. Even then, it was not too cordial – James had done a good job on several of the family.
However, in 1932, Teddy and Hannah’s son Ernie (my father) was invited to be a pall-bearer at the funeral of his cousin Walter Catlow. Ernie also became friends with his cousin Miriam Catlow, a friendship that lasted until Miriam’s death in the late 1990s.
That’s how my grandparents (Dad’s parents) met and married, and stayed happily married too, until Teddy died of cancer in 1950, aged 57.
Have you come across anything like this in your family? What happened in the end?
© Linda Visman 17.04.14 (623 words)
9 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI
Leave a Reply Cancel reply
My second Y.A. novel
Available from Amazon.com
Linda Visman's blog
Share Your World
A to Z Blogging Challenge Survivor 2015
I survived A to Z 2015
2015 A-Z Blogging Challenge
2014 A-Z Blogging Survivor
2014 A-Z Blogging Challenge
Search this blog
Posts by the month
Blogroll
- A to Z Challenge Blogging from A to Z Challenge
- Buy Ben's Challenge Click here to buy a copy of Ben’s Challenge from Amazon.
Links - Writing
- Anne R Allen's blog
- Between Fact and Fiction
- Broadside Blog
- C.S. Lakin's Live, Write, Thrive A blog on writing by a great author
- debbie Robson Researching and writing a historical novel
- Erika liodice – Writing the Dream
- Live to Write – Write to Live
- Magdalena Ball
- Memory Writers Network
- Straight from Hel
- Women's Memoirs
- Writer Unboxed
- Writing Our Way Home
- Writing Our Way Home
- Writing Through Life
My Books
- Buy Ben's Challenge Click here to buy a copy of Ben’s Challenge from Amazon.
Other Links
- A to Z Challenge A to Z April Blogging Challenge
- ABC News Australia
- Northern Rivers Geology Geology of the Northern Rivers of NSW Australia
Writing Memoir
Topics I’ve written about
Wangiwriter’s posts
Blogs I Follow
- Lake Macquarie Branch, Fellowship of Australian Writers
- irevuo
- Colleen Chesebro ~ The Fairy Whisperer
- sketchings
- Learn Fun Facts
- backstorypress.com
- roughwighting
- Half Baked In Paradise
- Hoax-Slayer
- The Curry Apple Orchard
- barsetshirediaries
- Cee's Photography
- Leigh Warren :: Country Music Outlaw
- Diane Tibert
- Looking Back
- Explore China
- Repurposed Genealogy
- Appalachian Ink ~ Home of Anna Wess (and Granny)
- Myths of the Mirror
- Writing on the Pages of Life
Recent Comments
Tags
1950s 1950s Australia adventure Albion Park Rail Alzheimers Anzac Day art Australia Australian birds Baby Boomers beauty Ben's Challenge birds blogging book review books camping cancer Catholic schools challenge children Christmas community creativity Dapto Dapto High school death depression dreams education England environment family flowers friends frustration gratitude health history Illawarra inspiration kookaburra Lake Macquarie Lake Macquarie NSW literature memories memory nature noisy miner Oswaldtwistle poetry polio positive thinking procrastination publishing Rainbow lorikeet reading recycling relaxation religion research responsibility rubbish Sisters of St Joseph Society trees Wangi Wangi war Wollongong words work writer's block writing WWII Young Adult fictionJoin me on Goodreads
Find me on Facebook
Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.
Another lovely post Linda, a snippet of a previous time. Documenting these stories will keep them alive. Have you thought about a book for these? 🙂
Comment by QueasyPeasy— April 17, 2014 #
Thanks, Linda. I have been going to write a book about Dad, but it may be better to put together a collection of family stories instead – more manageable. 🙂
Comment by Linda Visman - wangiwriter— April 17, 2014 #
The tragedy, courage and joy of our lives. Such a human story Linda.
Comment by Don— April 17, 2014 #
I have known many families that make such sad choices. Especially when it comes to mixing or race, culture or religion… when we deeply love the members of our families we should respect and love the ones they choose . Great pics and good story to share #AtoZchallenge ☮Peace ☮ ღ ONE ℒℴνℯ ღ ☼ Light ☼ visiting from http://4covert2overt.blogspot.com/
Comment by mariacatalinaegan— April 18, 2014 #
I agree Maria. Thanks for calling in and commenting. 🙂
Comment by Linda Visman - wangiwriter— April 18, 2014 #
What an amazing story Linda. Well told. Lucky you have that photo!
Comment by Debbie Robson— April 25, 2014 #
Thanks Debbie. Yes, and I didn’t know about it until just a couple of years ago. 🙂
Comment by Linda Visman - wangiwriter— April 25, 2014 #
After all this time, it is lucky the story did surface!
Comment by Debbie Robson— April 26, 2014 #
Yes, I have seen marriage in defiance of parent’s wishes, but I’m afraid that there was no happy ever after conclusion.
Comment by Margaret Lynette Sharp— June 19, 2014 #