Battling Through

July 19, 2011 at 9:49 am | Posted in Writing | 1 Comment
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I received fifty copies of my novel today – I never imagined being able to say that, but now, I can see them in the box I just picked up from the Post Office.

It took me four years to write Ben’s Challenge. All the way through, from the idea (it was originally going to be a short story) to the completion I had to battle to get it done. No, it’s not that I can’t write, or that it took many revisions, or that I didn’t know where the story was going and what I wanted it to do. And it’s not that I don’t know my grammar, punctuation and spelling either – I grew up in an era when schools taught that kind of thing. No, the problem was deeper than any or all of those.

My problem was a lack of confidence in myself, which manifested itself in many ways. The main issue I had to overcome was procrastination; after all, if I didn’t write, nobody could say it was rubbish, could they – and that included myself.

A life-long struggle with depression also helped make my self doubts into mountains I was certain I couldn’t climb. Even when my critique group expressed admiration for my style of writing and for the story, I wasn’t able to relax and go with the flow.

Funnily enough, it was during my eighteen months of treatments for breast cancer that I wrote the most easily and with the most confidence. I suppose my writing was no longer my sole focus, so I took the pressure off myself. My self doubts became background noise, which I could often ignore.

My book will be launched at a Writers’ Expo that my writing group is holding on the 6th of August. Two other members will be launching their maiden books too, so I will not be the whole centre of attention. I can handle that. And I am looking forward to seeing my creation in the hands of my readers. It took effort and tears, but I battled through.

“Ben’s Challenge” by L.M. Visman is a story for Middle Grades to Young Adult. It tells the story of a boy’s desire to discover who was responsible for his father’s death; his struggle to come to terms with his loss; how he finds friendship and learns to trust again.

It is available as a Print-on-Demand publication from www.createspace.com

© Linda Visman 2011

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  1. When I checked, I found only 36 copies. The other box sees to have gone astray.


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